Reality of my parents and family. Gaslighting. Traits of toxic relationships. Part 2.

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“People talk about creating your own reality. But not as children. As a child, you come to other people’s reality, and your job is to survive, long enough to be able to create your own. We make decisions about ourselves, quite early, then we bury them, and they are there for so long, that we believe that that’s the way we are, that’s the way things are. You had to fight your mother. Stand up for yourself. And then everyone took her side.” Andy Bryce, EFT Master, my therapist.

And that’s the thing. They took her side, but, at the same time, they were telling me that she was wrong. They were telling me that I was right, and that she was wrong, but I had to shut up and play along. Did what she wanted. Let her have her will. I was right feeling that something was not right, but it didn’t make any difference, because she was still right. Her righteousness was “righter” than mine.

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